on how I came to find myself with my bare butt exposed to a room full of strangers
Yesterday was the first time in 6 months and 1 week that I sat down and stood back up WITHOUT ANY PAIN.
Shortly after John’s birth – while I was still in the hospital – I noticed that my butt hurt. Yes, I had just birthed a 10 ½ pound bundle of joy so I was expecting there to be some discomfort in that region, just hadn’t expected quite so much in the tailbone region. Initially I assumed that it was the odd angle of the hospital bed and the fact that I’d been pretty much sitting down for 24 hours, so of course my tailbone would be a little uncomfortable what with all that sitting. And, perhaps the initial discomfort was from all that sitting, because I know I’m not the only person that gets a little uncomfortable during even just a long movie and those 3 hour movies had nothing on all the sitting I was doing.
As my time on maternity leave ticked by the pain continued to grow. I continued to assume this was still due to all the sitting I was doing. It was winter; I was home all day with an infant that did little besides eat and sleep; and I was doing little other than feeding said infant and watching copious amounts of television. Ninety-five percent or more of my day was spent ON MY A**. This is a good explanation for not only why I gained more lasting weight during my maternity leave than I did during my entire pregnancy – for real, after giving birth I was only up 2-3 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight and by the time I was back to work I was up 10-12 – but this also explained why my tailbone was hurting. Right? I was sure that when I went back to work, to a place where I generally can count on spending a good deal of my shift NOT SITTING… I was sure my pain would lessen and eventually go away. This did not happen.
In fact, when I went back to work my pain only increased. I later came to learn that it was because instead of sitting on the comfy couch all day I was sitting on hard office chairs. I also developed a new pain, my lower back was KILLING ME. I later learned that this was because I had begun sitting in a very unhealthy position, though one that put minimal pressure on my tailbone. I was trying to cope with the tailbone pain and in turn began messing with the muscles of my hip and back. One day in mid-April I was in so much pain I couldn’t stand it. I finally began making calls to my OBGYN — because I googled my pains and found that they could be linked to a tailbone injury during childbirth and wanted to find out whether I needed to go see the OBGYN or if I should be seeing my Family Practice physician – which led to more calls and more calls and unanswered calls and promises of returned calls and messages, all of which led to not a single person helping me and I remained so frustrated and in so much pain that all I could do was cry. Had my co-pay for ER visits not been ridiculously high I would have gone there, and I haven’t been there since 1997 when I was 14 and my mom thought I might have Meningitis. I was in THAT MUCH PAIN.
After a long weekend of pain and cursing the nurses and receptionists at my OB’s office, I called on Monday and, through my sobs, told them how they had let me down and failed to do their job properly. I then placed a call to my regular doctor who was able to see me that afternoon. By dinner that day I had a filled prescription for a muscle relaxer in my hand, first dose down my throat, and an appointment set up for a few days later with a physical therapist. Having the need for this muscle relaxer was the first time I had anything but negative feelings that the “breastfeeding thing” hadn’t gone as planned because I don’t know how I would have survived that week without the relief they offered and the ability to stand erect they provided for me. Thankfully after my first physical therapy session I was scheduled for 8 more in the following 4 weeks. I had never needed physical therapy in the past and had been old by a lot of people that it wouldn’t help. It didn’t touch the tailbone pain, despite the best efforts of my PT, but completely eliminated the back and hip pains that I had really brought upon myself for sitting on my hip instead of on my tush.
Back in April when I saw my doctor, she also referred me to the Spine Clinic to be evaluated to see whether I would be a candidate for a steroid injection in the tailbone area to relieve my pain. Unfortunately the earliest appointment we could get set up was for mid-June and being on the wait list for an earlier appointment didn’t prove fruitful for obtaining an earlier appointment. In mid-June I had my appointment with a doctor whose name I can neither pronounce nor spell, and he was very friendly and appeared knowledgeable in his area of medicine. He diagnosed me with a tailbone sprain that likely occurred during childbirth and, after a long discussion about all the pros. cons, side-effects, and the like, he scheduled me for a steroid injection the following week.
And that is how I came to find myself face-down on an exam table with my bare butt exposed to a room full of strangers with a doctor whose name I can neither pronounce nor spell, though whom I have all the faith in the world in, poking around my crack with a needle. Oh, the sweet relief that needle loaded with cortisone had brought to my life. Thank you Dr. with the long last name and the magical syringe; I love you both.
